Obama Crashes the GOP Convention in Tampa—a Fractured Fairy Tale
By Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon
DonaldHendon.com
It’s Saturday August 25, 2012. The weekend before
the Republican Convention in Tampa. Obama’s watching
the number one movie in the US,
Obama 2016, in the Oval Office. After throwing up a few times, he
thinks to himself: Gotta do something to get
attention during the Republican Convention next
week. Wonder what my schedule is for Monday. Then he
yells, “Hey, Biden, get in here and tell me what I’m
up to on Monday.”
The obedient lap-dog rushes into the room.
Biden: Boss, you get your daily briefing at 10:15
am. I’m supposed to be there. Thanks, boss. You
never include me in the briefings. But tell me why
you’re meeting with me and Hillary at 10:45 am.
What’s gonna happen then, huh, boss? And why are you
inviting me for lunch at 12:30? Is anybody else
gonna be there with us, boss?
Obama: Too many questions, Joe. I don’t want to
spoil the surprise right now. Anyway, I want to talk
to you about how you’re going to mess up the
Republican convention in Tampa next week.
Biden: Well, boss, you told me not to go to Tampa at
all. I’m supposed to go to Orlando and St. Augustine
on Tuesday, though.
Obama: Got a surprise for you. I’m going to Tampa
myself on Monday. Flying there, get into my
motorcade, and go to the Tampa Bay Times Forum
convention center. I’ll get there just before Ann
Romney’s speech. I’m going into the building, and
the focus will be on me, not on her and her husband.
Biden: Hey, boss, the Republicans moved her speech
to Tuesday night.
Obama: Hell, I can’t go on Tuesday. Gotta stay home
and watch Last Man Standing on ABC. Just love that Tim Allen. He’s got three
daughters and a wife on that show. I’ve got two
daughters and a wife. So I can identify with him.
Wish I could trade Michelle in for that hot, hot
Nancy Travis. What’s her name on the show?
Biden: Vanessa Baxter, boss.
Obama: Well, change your plans. Go to Orlando and
St. Augustine on Tuesday morning instead, and then
go to the GOP Convention on Tuesday night. Make sure
you arrive just before Ann Romney’s speech. I’ll go
to Tampa myself on Monday and interrupt the
Convention myself.
Biden: What am I supposed to do there,boss?
Obama: Nothing. Just go inside, grab an empty seat,
listen politely, then leave. Every time you open
your big mouth, something bad happens. Keep it shut
this time. But keep on smiling your phony Jimmy
Carter smile. The TV network cameras will be on you,
not on the people on the stage.
Biden: Hard to keep quiet, boss. As you know, I’ve
got oral diarrhea.
An awkward silence. Then Biden decides to say
something.
Biden: Whatcha gonna do at the convention on Monday,
boss?
Obama: I’m gonna go up to the front stage, grab the
microphone from whoever’s speaking and say “Welcome
to Tampa. Vote for me.” Then, I’ll leave. A good way
to grab everybody’s attention from those two wimps
Romney and Ryan.
Biden: OK, boss. Whatever you say. Yassuh, boss.
Obama: And stop using that old-fashioned Negro
dialect. You got into trouble with it when you said
“Put y’all in chains.”
Biden starts to leave, then turns around and asks:
By the way, boss, please, please tell me what you,
me, and Hillary are going to talk about at 10:45 on
Monday? And what are we gonna talk about at lunch at
12:30?
Obama: It’s a surprise. Now get outta here. You’re
starting to get on my nerves.
Biden leaves and Michelle comes in. She says this to
her husband:
So you’d like to trade me in for Nancy Travis, the
hottie on Last Man Standing. Now I know why you watch that show. It’s not
because Tim Allen and you both have no sons and are
in a house-full of women.
They argue for awhile. Tired of the usual daily
fighting, Obama goes out and plays golf. Flies to
Camp David. Gets into his Choomobile. (See my
Fractured Fairy Tale of May 28, 2012.) Smokes a few
joints. Goes to sleep. He has this dream:
The Ghosts of Elections Past (Bill Clinton), Present
(George W. Bush), and Future (Jimmy Carter) show up,
all at the same time. (See my Fractured Fairy Tale
of June 20, 2012) They all point to somebody far
away dressed in a Mighty Mouse costume. The face
looks vaguely familiar. As Mighty Mouse gets closer,
Obama recognizes him. It’s Cory Booker, the heroic
mayor of Newark, New Jersey. He starts singing,
“Here I come to save the day…Mighty Mouse is on his
way.”
Obama and Booker bump fists. Then Booker abruptly
disappears. Obama asks the three ghosts, “Why did
you point at Cory Booker?”
The Bill Clinton Ghost says “You’ve gotta pick
Booker for Vice President. Dump Biden. He’s a
loser—even his hair implants are starting to
disappear.”
The George Bush Ghost says “I’m just here to listen
to you Democrats argue. You’re all a bunch of
losers—you’ll find out that I’m right on November
6.”
The Jimmy Carter Ghost says “Don’t listen to
anything I say if you want to win. I’m the biggest
loser of all!”
Obama wakes up. He knows what to do—he’s gonna dump
Biden. He’s gonna twist Hillary’s arm on August 27
and make her accept the Vice Presidency. He’s won’t
say anything to Biden at lunch that day, because he
wants him to go to Tampa on Tuesday and disrupt the
GOP Convention. He’ll make the announcement that
Hillary’s his VP at the Democratic Convention in
Charlotte on September 3.
A couple of hours later, the hurricane shut down
Tampa. The Republicans cancelled Monday night’s
program and squeezed all the events into three days.
Readers, what do you think Obama will do? Will he
and Biden disrupt the Republican convention? Will he
pick Hillary and dump Biden? Or will he pick heroic
Cory Booker instead? After all, it’s only a
fractured fairy tale. Or
is it?
Stay tuned for more fast-moving events…
In Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon’s book,
365 Powerful
Ways to Influence, you learn to use 121
aggressive tactics, 92 defensive tactics, 24
cooperative tactics, 16 submissive tactics, and 81
dirty tricks to get what you want from other
people—plus 31 tactics to prepare you for your
interaction with them.
There are
many political examples. Learn more
about his book at
www.Donaldhendon.com. Download Chapter 1
there, free of charge. And watch for his latest
book, co-authored by Jay Conrad Levinson. Titled
Guerrilla
Deal-Making, it contains the 100 most powerful
tactics from
365 Powerful Ways. It’s available for pre-order
right now at Amazon.com.