Obama Becomes Pope! Another Fractured Fairy Tale
By
Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon
DonaldHendon.com
Michelle Obama was concerned about her husband. He
had been unusually moody for the last week. Here’s
how their conversation went:
Michelle: Hey, big ears, your voter fraud paid off
big-time a few months ago. You won another four
years. So why have you been so moody lately?
Obama: Voter fraud in the US is too easy. You know
how lazy I am. Even all my golfing vacations to
Florida and Hawaii are getting boring. I need a new
challenge.
Michelle: Why don’t you declare yourself emperor
like you planned to do if you lost the election in
November? That way, we could live in the White
Castle forever.
Obama: You mean the White House, dummy.
Michelle: Yeah, that’s right. I was just getting
hungry. I’m getting tired of Chick Fil-A. I’ve got a
craving for those White Castle pygmy burgers.
Obama: I’m not gonna declare myself emperor. At
least not yet. I’ll probably do that in the summer
of 2016.
Michelle: Why are you grinning, baby?
Obama: I’m just thinking…that’s another way of
pissing off Hillary and Bill. She’ll have to call
off her presidential campaign in the middle of it.
Michelle: Why did you name her Secretary of State in
the first place?
Obama: To get her out of Washington, dummy! When she
was senator, she was in town two or three days a
week. At least she was every other week or so. She’s
almost as lazy as I am! After I named her Secretary
of State, I could kick her out of Washington for a
phony overseas trip anytime I wanted to.
Michelle: Yeah, and she usually took Bill along with
her. You got rid of both of those white trash at the
same time.
Long pause in the conversation. Both are obviously
bored with each other’s company.
Obama breaks the silence by saying, “Hey, Michelle,
I’ve been wanting to tell you something for the last
few days. Remember when Pope Benedict VI resigned?”
Michelle: Yeah, what about it?
Obama: You know why he really resigned?
Michelle: Don’t tell me you had something to
do with it?
Obama: Yep! I told him I’d take a few billion out of
my slush fund and gave it to him if he resigned. He
took the money and resigned.
Michelle: Why did you do that?
Obama: Because I want to be pope!
Michelle: Hell, you’re not even a Catholic!
Obama: I don’t care. I’m going to Vatican City
tomorrow. I’m going to tell the cardinals that I
firmly believe that the time has come for a
non-Catholic to become pope. I’ll talk about
Equality for All, and all that jazz.
Michelle: In your dreams! Even you aren’t
charismatic enough to get enough votes. You fooled
most of the people most of the time here in the
United States, but you won’t be able to fool those
cardinals.
Obama: I’m not gonna try to fool them. I’m
gonna bribe them. A billion here, a billion
there. I’ve got a lot of slush funds. Only 115
cardinals, only 115 billion dollars.
Michelle: Yeah, the money’s easy to get. I’ve got a
big slush fund myself.
Obama: And I’ve got an ace in the hole.
Michelle: What’s that?
Obama: When I barge into the election session in
Vatican City tomorrow, I’m gonna tell the cardinals
this: I just discovered an Italian birth
certificate, proving I was born in Rome before I was
born in Kenya.
Michelle is speechless.
Obama goes on and says: “That Hawaiian birth
certificate never has been worth what I paid for it
anyway, and it’s not worth the paper it’s printed
on. And there’s no way that 115 cardinals could be
more expensive to buy than it cost me to buy 2
million voters in Michigan, Ohio, North Carolina,
Florida, and Wisconsin last November.”
Michelle: Yeah, that’s how we won the election.
Voter fraud is wonderful, isn’t it? Well, I was
getting a little bored with the White House. It
would be nice to live in Vatican City for a change.
Obama: What makes you think you’re coming with me?
Michelle: Don’t tell me you’ve been talking to
Beyonce again behind my back?
Obama breaks into a big, big grin.
And then he wakes up.
He says, “Beyonce, you’ll never believe the dream I
just had!”
To my readers: Was it really a dream? Will it
actually happen? Or was it just a fractured
fairy tale?
Note from StupidFrogs.org: Don Hendon, the author of
these fractured fairy tales, has been too disgusted
with the November 2012 election results to write
another fractured fairy tale. He finally got
inspired today, and this is his 23rd fairy tale.
Stupid Frogs hopes he’ll keep writing them.
Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon is a consultant, speaker,
trainer, and author of 10 books, including
Guerrilla Deal-Making (with Jay Conrad
Levinson) and 365 Powerful Ways to Influence.
Deal-Making contains the 100 most
powerful tactics from 365 Powerful Ways—along
with 400 countermeasures. There are 121 aggressive
tactics, 92 defensive ones, 24 cooperative ones, and
16 submissive ones to get what you want from other
people. Plus 81 dirty tricks to watch out for and 31
tactics to prepare you for your interaction with
them. Download Chapter 1, free of charge, at
www.DonaldHendon.com. Play his free online
Negotiation Poker game by going to
GuerrillaDon.com. Apps will soon be available.