In God We Trust

Obama Pigs Out While Our Consulate Burns

 

By Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon
DonaldHendon.com

Let’s go back in time for today’s Fractured Fairy Tale, which really didn’t happen. It’s a fairy tale, remember? Anyway, please go ahead and imagine that it’s Tuesday, September 11, 2012.

Obama wakes up at 8:30, grabs a couple of chicken wings from one of his Chick Fil-a bowls in the refrigerator, and decides to skip the national security briefing as usual. 

He bowls a few games.

He has a late lunch. In his bedroom.  As usual, he pigs out on Chick fil-A. “Wonder if I can finish 2 big bowls?” he thinks to himself. He puts on a DVD of Fox TV’s The Cleveland Show and starts watching it.

It’s 2 pm. (8 pm in Libya.) There’s an urgent knock on door. A guy from the National Security Situation Room says, “Come quick. Bad stuff happening at our Consulate in Benghazi, Libya.”

Obama: I’ve got the runs. Too much Chick Fil-a. I’ll watch the bad stuff here in the bedroom. It’s closer to the toilet.

He keeps watching The Cleveland Show on one TV and turns on another TV. It’s a closed-circuit feed from the Situation Room, so he can see what’s happening in Libya.

Michelle comes in to watch TV with him.

The phone rings. Leon Panetta, the Secretary of Defense, is on the line. He says, “Hey, Barry, you’d better come to the Situation Room. We need you. Things are getting worse.”

Obama says “No.” Then he hangs up.

Two minutes later, Panetta bursts into Obama’s bedroom. He’s frantic. He yells, “We need air support. Come to Situation Room with me right now!”

Obama replies: “Shut up, Leon. Beat it. I’m already watching what’s going on. This is fascinating. I don’t want to miss a second of this.” Obama is smiling broadly. Panetta thinks it looks like an evil grin.

Panetta: But, boss, only you can give the order to send in troops to help the people in our Consulate.

Obama: Hey, Leon, you’d better not go over my head! Don’t call in troops from Italy and the Mediterranean! No air support, either. I wanna see the fight! And I want the fight to last a long time. I’m having fun watching it.

He pushes Panetta into the hall and slams the door in his face.

He says to Michelle, “Wow, just think! I’m the president, and I can see this stuff live, right here in my bedroom! What a great life!

Michelle: Yeah, you’re sure enjoying yourself.

Obama: I’m like Nero. He fiddled while Rome burned. And I’m eating Chick fil-A while our Benghazi consulate burns!

Michelle smiles and nods in agreement.

After the consulate is burning, the terrorists leave the compound. It’s 4 am Libya time, 10 pm Washington time.

Obama says to Michelle, “Wow, I’m glad nobody important got hurt.”

He yawns and says, “Gotta go to bed now. Gotta get ready for my trip to fabulous Las Vegas tomorrow. What a great life!”

Michelle: Too bad it won’t last much longer. We both know you’re gonna lose the election on November 6.

Obama: Yeah, I know I’m gonna lose. But there’s no way in hell am I’m gonna give it up.

Michelle: How are you gonna keep your job?

Obama: We both know I’m too dumb to think of an October surprise. But remember, I memorized Saul Alinsky’s book, Rules for Radicals, when I was a community organizer in Chicago. I’ve got a lot of tricks up my sleeve. Including voter fraud.  

Michelle: Yeah, you’ve always been pretty good at that. Except in 2000 when you lost your first race for congress against Bobby Rush. You should have used it then. But what happens if voter fraud doesn’t work?

Obama: Well, if it doesn’t, just wait till you see my December surprise! After I’m defeated, I’ll declare myself emperor.

Michelle: But how are you gonna get away with it?

Obama: Don’t worry. I own the news media—except for Fox, of course. They get a thrill up their leg whenever I swagger into the room and smile at my adoring fans. Hell, I became president even though I wasn’t born in the US. You know I was born in the Coast Province General Hospital in Mombassa, Kenya, when mommy, daddy, and grandmaw were attending a Muslim Festival. I even said in my first book, Dreams from My Father, that I was born in Kenya on August 4, 1961.

Michelle: You mean in Bill Ayers’ book, don’t you?

Obama: Yeah, he wrote it for me. Wonder why he took so much interest in me and took me under his wing?

Michelle: Probably because you’re even more radical than he is!

Next morning, just before Obama leaves for his holiday in Las Vegas, Hillary Clinton asks him, “Who were you rooting for in Libya?” He smiles broadly, winks his eye, and says “I’m just so happy no Muslims were killed.” Then, he shrugs his shoulders and swaggers onto the helicopter to fly to Andrews Air Force Base where Air Force One is getting ready to fly him to Vegas.

Later on, Hillary complains to Bill: That could have been me flying to Vegas! I should have challenged him in the Democratic primaries this year like you suggested. What a loser!

Bill replies: You should be glad he’s a loser! You have only three more months to work for that guy!

Hillary: I don’t know about that, Bill. I have a feeling he’s gonna come up with a December surprise. Declare himself emperor or something.

Bill: I wouldn’t put it past him.

Will Obama declare himself emperor in December? Find out in a future Fractured Political Fairy Tale.

Copyright (c) 2012


  

Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon is a consultant, speaker, trainer, and author of ten books, including 365 Powerful Ways to Influence and the forthcoming Guerrilla Deal-Making. Deal-Making, co-authored by Jay Conrad Levinson, is now available for pre-purchase on Amazon.com. It contains the 100 most powerful tactics from 365 Powerful Ways—along with 400 countermeasures. There are 121 aggressive tactics, 92 defensive ones, 24 cooperative ones, and 16 submissive ones to get what you want from other people. Plus 81 dirty tricks to watch out for and 31 tactics to prepare you for your interaction with them. Download Chapter 1, free of charge, at www.DonaldHendon.com. Play his free online Negotiation Poker game by going to www.DonaldHendon.com/NegotiationPoker. Apps will soon be available.