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The Ground Zero Mosque: How
Imam Rauf Plans to Get His Way
by Donald W. Hendon, Ph.D.
DonaldHendon.com
The mosque proposed by Imam Faisal Abdul Rauf, adjacent to ground zero in
New York City, has generated a lot of controversy.
Here’s my prediction about which tactics he will use to get his way—a
combination of mostly dirty tricks and extremely assertive tactics:
Rauf’s demeanor and words seems arrogant to many Americans.
I agree. I have been a
visiting professor of business at universities in Saudi Arabia, United Arab
Emirates, and Oman, and I have done a lot of consulting in those nations and
several others in the Middle East. I
have found in my consulting and research that Arabs use negotiating tactics that
are quite different from those in western nations.
They have 28 favorite tactics, all of which are explained in my book,
365 Powerful Ways to Influence, published this year by
Pelican Books.
Here are their
favorite 7 tactics:
They lie often (dirty
trick 55), especially when expressing interest in your proposal, and when
they’re talking about meeting deadlines.
They tempt you with their promises (cooperative 13) made up of creatively
vague words (defensive 53) They find
out your deadline (assertive 28) and stall for time ((defensive 27) until just
before your deadline. Then, they try
to force you to accept their different proposal.
It’s bait-and-switch (dirty trick 16) combined with take-it-or-leave it
((assertive 68). Most of the time,
they offer no excuses. You lose a
lot of valuable time until you finally realize they’ve been stringing you along
the whole time. When they eventually
sign a contract, they often have no intention of living up to the agreement and
will simply ignore terms they don’t like.
(Dirty trick 81)
Why to they use these
tactics so often? Because of an
extreme “Big Dog” mentality. They’re
self-centered and have so much money that they are much less committed to the
relationship than you are.
(Defensive 9) They always seem to assume
that you need them more than they need you.
But it’s more than
that. Even when dealing with other
Arabs, they keep the other side uncertain about many things.
(Assertive 1) This is more
than a cultural thing. Uncertainty
is their way of life. It has to do
with their calendar, which is moon-based.
That means the times and dates aren’t known very far in advance.
Arab newspapers publish times of calls for prayers each day, and the
times change each day. For example,
in Cairo, Egypt, the first call for prayer on September 1, 2010, is 4:03 am and
4:22 am on September 30. The
well-known month of Ramadan moves back on the calendar around 11 days each year.
Other tactics they
often use:
·
Sign a contract with a
foreign employee and intentionally not pay them for several months. They know
foreigners often can’t adapt to the harsh lifestyle in the middle east and often
leave before their contract is up.
Withholding pay keeps the employer from leaving “in the middle of the night.”
Even so, many cars owned by foreigners are abandoned at the Dubai
Airport. I abandoned mine there on
December 31, 2004. (Assertive 46)
·
A cluster of 4 tactics
showing extreme arrogance:
o
Act egotistical—I’m the
greatest (Assertive 39)
o
Claim “I’m entitled to
special privileges (Dirty trick 22)
o
Appear invulnerable in
order to intimidate others (Dirty trick 2)
o
Phony sanctimony—hide
behind it (Dirty trick 24)
·
A cluster of 3 tactics
which are usually illegal in most nations
o
Bribe others (Dirty trick
20)
o
Blackmail others (Dirty
trick 21)
o
Extortion, shakedowns
(Dirty trick 23)
·
A cluster of 4 bullying
tactics
o
They humiliate, ridicule,
and demoralize the other person—and seem to enjoy doing it (Dirty trick 30)
o
They not only allow but
welcome interruptions from others.
Jumping the queue is not just accepted, it’s a way of life (Dirty trick 47)
Think of LIFO—last in, first out.
You have to be aggressive enough interrupt his conversation with the newcomer,
or you’ll be ignored.
o
They always try to
dominate you (Defensive 72)
o
They always want to
control the agenda (Assertive 53)
·
In the rare case when
they offer excuses for breaking promises, they use a combination of Don’t blame
me—the devil made me do it (Defensive 84) and 2 dry well tactics:
My hands are tied—customs, precedents, traditions (Defensive 34) and I
won’t go against my ethics (Defensive 35).
And employees of very large organizations often give you the bureaucracy
excuse—it’s against our company’s policy (Defensive 31).
Arabs often show their
contempt for foreigners by making them use dirty, filthy toilets which their
Bangladeshi, Pakistani, Sri Lankan, and Indian janitors and maintenance men use.
(Dirty trick 43) And
sometimes their contempt goes beyond what is considered civilized behavior in
Western nations. Here’s what
happened to me:
At a student assembly
in June 2009 at Prince Sultan University in Riyadh, where I worked, an Egyptian
professor of computer science yelled and screamed at me, “F-k you, f-k America,
you piece of shit,” over and over.
He lunged at me and tried to beat me up then and there.
The Bangladeshi security guards just laughed.
Business professors had to retrain him.
A riot broke out, with students throwing food and bottles of water at the
professors, who threw them back. I
asked the university for protection.
They refused, giving me no reason.
(Assertive 71) The next day, the
Egyptian beat me up in my office. I
ran into the rector’s office, blood all over my face.
He was having a meeting with top administrators.
I know a little Arabic, and I heard them discuss killing me to shut me up
before I complained to the US Embassy.
Eventually, they decided instead to cover up the incident by getting me
out of Saudi Arabia as fast as possible.
(Defensive 25, secrecy) My
wife and I left 4 days later.
Watch Imam Rauf and
his associates over the next few months.
I predict they will use many of these 28 tactics.
To those who will “negotiate” with him:
Fore-warned is fore-armed.
Start preparing lots of counter-measures.
#########
Noted consultant and
seminar-giver Donald Hendon is the author of
365 Powerful Ways to Influence.
You can download chapter 1, free of charge, by going to his website,
<www.donaldhendon.com>. The are 6
kinds of tactics: Assertive (121 of
them), defensive (92), submissive (16), cooperative (24), dirty tricks (81),
plus 31 tactics to prepare you for your negotiations.
Don lives in Mesquite, Nevada, near Las Vegas.